Have you heard of this saying “elevation requires separation”?
It carries a different meaning for many. In today’s article, we want to discuss separation from old habits, from our old selves and lives. Certainly it’s not without challenges but entirely necessary to avoid self-sabotage.
As you journey with us over the next 11 months on What She Said Radio Talk Show, you will learn how to become more attentive to your thought life; delve into the past to discover where exactly do your behaviour patterns stem from; identify what motivates and inspires you; identify your unhealthy behaviours and replace them with even healthier ones; shift your thinking patterns; routinely practice self-acceptance and apply self-care.
(In January we began the first cycle of our Sacred Space 21-Day Challenge to help prepare your mindset for 2022. If you haven’t yet done the challenge, it’s not too late. Join our Facebook group here to get started!)
Do you want to achieve your dreams, personal goals or improve the quality of your life?
Have you reached the point where you are now ready to get unstuck and move forward?
Being stuck can feel like when a car breaks down and is left unattended by the roadside sitting there for days, weeks, months or possibly years collecting dust, dirt, rust and having lost its luster. It could suffer from a variety of maladies.
Feeling stuck in life can feel like this, where you begin to lose the luster for life—your dreams, your goals. The light inside you begins to dim. You’re no longer living, but merely existing. Whatever the mind reacts to, the body will as well—your entire being (mental, physical, spiritual) is affected. And eventually this could lead to self-sabotage.
So what is self-sabotage? Simply defined, self-sabotage is when people get in their own way. It emanates from a negative mindset. And to stop this cycle of sabotage, you have to get out of your way. Self-sabotage is incredibly common. It can keep you stuck in a rut, which can erode your confidence, diminish your self-esteem, and cause chronic sadness and anxiety.
If this resonates with you and every fibre of your being is screaming “Yes! This is me! How can I stop the cycle?”, then you’re ready to become unstuck and get moving. It also means you’re ready to fight for your life, your dreams, your goals—for you!
It’s in our thought life where we tend to get stuck.
Often times the negative thinking which keeps us stuck and in a cycle of self-sabotage, has a lot to do with the type of people we surround ourselves with, old habits and patterns. These behaviours are often deeply ingrained in us and can be difficult to recognize at first.
When we can’t identify the reason for our stuckness, why we do what we do or think the way we do, why we keep falling short of what we truly want over and over again, or lack motivation, we can become frustrated, overwhelmed by a sense of defeat and just stop trying altogether. As Einstein once said, you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.
To have the change you desire to improve the quality of your life and achieve your dreams/goals, you have to step out of your comfort zone by creating an action plan and intentionally take steps that will keep you moving forward.
It’s time to start doing things differently—be different.
Begin your process of change by spending time in self-reflection and examining how you think, why you do what you do, why you think the way you do, why you react the way you do, etc.
After having conducted a deep, honest and earnest reflection into your life and have come to recognize the people and old habits and patterns that are keeping you stuck where you’re self-sabotaging, you’ll have to then make a conscious decision to be separated from your current situation (from those people, things, and even places you frequent that aren’t helping you grow).
People can have a major impact on your health and well-being. Oftentimes, your associations could determine whether you’ll be productive or unproductive. You would have to make a deliberate decision to move away from those things and/or people that are distracting so you can make progress in your life.
Remove negativity from your life. Which brings us back to the opening statement “elevation requires separation”. Separating yourself from your current situation (whether emotionally and/or physically), will cause you to grow which can also entail separating yourself from certain people. Sometimes in order to be elevated you must intentionally separate yourself from the things and people that are holding you back.
Remember, not everyone is willing to grow with you, or sometimes can’t/won’t celebrate your growth. The truth of the matter is you can’t get to the next level in your life if you continue with the way things are. From a positive perspective and outlook, the pandemic has for one afforded us the opportunity to learn the beneficial attributes of separation and/or isolation.
Since March 2020 we have had to separate from people, from a way of life as we knew it, in some respects, learn self-control, examine the way we think, gain a greater appreciation for life, etc. If we can draw from some of the beneficial attributes of separation and/or isolation, we can apply them to elevate ourselves to the next level, to evolve, and ultimately transform our lives.
To break free from pessimism, laziness, lack of ambition, motivation and inspiration, you have to do what is necessary. Though not an easy process, you can break the cycle. You can heal yourself.
Journey with us for the next 11 months on What She Said Radio Talk Show, where we will be empowering, encouraging, inspiring and motivating women like yourself to make shifts to get unstuck and become unstoppable. COVID-19 has done more damage than we realize and/or even anticipated; in that it has exposed existing cracks in relationships as well as in ourselves; it has rewired our brain; etc.
It’s time to recharge, to rewrite your narrative, and rewire your brain to live a healthier and more fulfilling life. It’s not an easy process; it’s a journey and we’re here to journey with you!
Don’t forget to join the Facebook Group to participate in our Sacred Space 21-Day Challenge to help prepare your mindset for 2022.
Denise is the co-founder of The Sacred Space Coaching & Consulting, a cognitive behavioural coach, building strength from vulnerability, and getting you unstuck.
Do you struggle with unhealthy friendships or relationships? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Have you lost motivation and inspiration? Do you feel burnt out? If so, please contact The Sacred Space Coaching & Consulting and one of our professional life coaches would be happy to speak with you.